Longing is a liar
close kin to Coveting
a deprecated religious word
meaning there’s something I want
want enough so it bothers me
bothers me enough to distract me
distract me from what’s before me
right now:
the opportunity to live and act
fully
undistracted
dw
…to run anything in this world…is like being lost in a forest of a million trees…and each tree is a thing to be done… A million trees. A million things. Until finally we have eyes for nothing else, and whatever we see turns into a thing.
…
So how am I to say it, gentlemen? When he came, I missed him.
— The Inkeeper
Frederick Buechner, Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons, “The Birth”
I can’t begin to convey the magic of Frederick Buechner’s sermon “The Birth”. Sermon isn’t really the right word. It’s more like three interviews with people who witnessed the event: the Innkeeper, the Wise Men, and the Shepherds. The quote above is from the Innkeeper’s account, his witness, his confession – that’s what it is in the end – his confession. And it’s my confession, too; maybe it’s yours.
I highly recommend Buechner’s book and that you read this particular sermon. What I have shared here doesn’t begin to do it justice.
Grace and peace to you…
dw
p.s. This is a refresh of a past post from early 2018
With growth into adulthood, responsibilities claimed me, so many heavy coats. I didn’t choose them, I don’t fault them, but it took time to reject them.
— Mary Oliver, Upstream
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12, NRSV Bible with Apocrypha
Jesus is all flame; he is the light of the world, the light of life for all people. Our desire to become all flame, as Abba Joseph puts it, is simply another way of saying we want to love Jesus so much we will follow him no matter what, just to be with him in his mission of truth, mercy, healing, provision, redemption, justice, and love.
I regret that I regularly and habitually focus on the ashes and not the light, as Thomas Merton writes; every time I do that, I forfeit an experience of the very best for something less than that. As Mary Oliver says, when I do that “there is something wrong, I know”.
Gracious God, in your mercy, enable us to follow Jesus more and more each day.
Grace and peace to you…
dw
Image – Rembrandt portrait of Jesus from wikiart.org
Praying
It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patcha few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorwayinto thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.— Mary Oliver, Thirst
I first encountered Mary Oliver and this poem when reading Common Prayer, the book I mentioned in last Friday’s post. I was an immediate convert.
p.s. Notice she’s talking again about paying attention, a growing theme for us (see this, quoted from her book Upstream; see also Wednesday’s post where I emphasize it’s importance in living out our faith.)
Click below to see other posts on the theme of prayer:
becoming flame 