If we are going to love others at all, we must make up our minds to love them well. Otherwise our love is a delusion.
We must first of all purify our love by renouncing the pleasure of loving as an end in itself. As long as pleasure is our end, we will be dishonest with ourselves and with those we love. We will not seek their good, but our own pleasure.
— Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island